Uggh!

Father's day did not turn out to be a relaxing day in which we celebrated the great dads in our life...

We went to church and then to lunch with my parents and some friends at a new Mexican restaurant in town. Then after lunch my parents took the three boys swimming at my aunts house and My Prince and I took Chasity to her Sunday afternoon visit with mom.

That's where things went south.

We got there and chatted about two minutes and then her mom (laying on the couch not looking at anyone or anything) said aloud, "Oh, tomorrow my brother is going to to the courthouse to change the guardianship from you to him" and then she was quiet. I was stunned. I didn't speak. Chasity was practicing a song she'd written for her mom and I let her go while my brain was spinning trying to figure out what to do next. When Chasity's song was over I spoke up and said, "Um, do you think we should talk more about this? Why are you doing that? (trying to discreetly talk around Chasity who was in the middle of all) to which she yelled, "You are trying to keep her away from me and I don't like it. She needs to be with family. You don't let me call. You don't let me keep her overnight. It's not fair. I need to see her. My brother will do what I want. He's family and he'll let me see her whenever I want." Ok, so all discreetness is out the window. This is where My Prince says that my "inner Mother Bear came out". Oh my. For the next hour and a half we "talked". I was furious that she'd do this IN FRONT OF her child. This was clearly not about the care and well being of her child, but her own selfish desires and getting her way. I kept saying to her, "When you're a mom you want what is best for your child ABOVE your own wants and desires. You put your child first." Bottom line....she doesn't like it that she doesn't get her way and can't tell us what to do all the time. She doesn't like it that she's not calling all the shots. I told her that if she doesn't like it then she needs to get better so she can be in charge again (she's not following Dr.'s orders, doing what she needs to in order to get better). Shawn brought up a good point that seemed to hit home with her that she was acting like a school girl who'd not gotten her way in the game so she was going to take her ball and go home. Chasity cried. Left and went out to the car. Came back in and cried some more. It was horrible. Her grandma spoke up and said that she believed that we were doing a good thing and she considered us a huge blessing in Chasity's life and that she thought that removing her from our home was a mistake. (She also mentioned that she doubted that her son (the brother) would pass any background check or anything the court might need in order to place her elsewhere). Chasity's mom was quiet for a while and we just let Chasity talk. Then I said, "Ok, you need to tell us what you're going to do and Chasity needs to hear it from you. Right now she thinks that we're trying to keep her from you (because that's what she said). You tell her what you want her to think." She said, "Chasity I want you to stay with Shawn and Elisha until I can get better." We then talked about what has to happen for her to get better and what it will look like so Chasity will know when it's getting close. She said that she will be living on her own in her own place and will have her strength. Chasity and My Prince went out the door and I said to Telma and her mom, "I just want you to know that I will not ever have a conversation like this again in front of your child. If you try something like this again, Shawn and I will take Chasity and leave--your visit will be over. If you want to talk about something you call me and I'll come talk to you without Chasity. What you did today has added hurt and pain to a little girls life who doesn't need anymore hurt and pain. You say that I'm not thinking about your feelings and in part that is right...my primary concern is your child, her well being and her feelings." She nodded and I left.

Frustrating. Hurtful. Maddening. And not mine to fix or manipulate. What happens with Chasity in the future is in God's control, the judge's wisdom and her mom's whim. So now we wait and see what happens next--and try not to let our foundation be shaken. Uggh!